I got a letter from old George W., It said, "Son, I hate to trouble ya, But this war of mine is going bad. It's time for me to roll the dice; I know you've already been there twice, But I am sending you back to Baghdad."
Chorus: Hey! George W. told the nation, "This is not an escalation; This is just a surge toward victory. Just to win my little war, I'm sending 20,000 more, To help me save Iraq from Iraqis.
And, so, I made it to Iraq In time for one more sneak attack, And to my old battalion I was sent. We drive around in our Humvees, Listening to The Black-Eyed Peas And speaking fondly of the president. (To Chorus)
Celebrities all come to see us, Grateful they don't have to be us, Politicians show their best face card. Where is Bubba? Where's our leader? Where's our favorite lip reader? AWOL from the Texas National Guard
If you're hunkered in Fallujah Wondering who it was who screwed ya, Wondering what became of "Shock and Awe!"
(more) You are feeling semi-certain It has to do with Halliburton, Dick Cheney's why you drew that fatal straw.
I got a letter from L. B. J. It said this is your lucky day. It's time to put your khaki trousers on. Though it may seem very queer We've got no jobs to give you here So we are sending you to Viet Nam
[Chorus:] Lyndon Johnson told the nation, "Have no fear of escalation. I am trying everyone to please. Though it isn't really war, We're sending fifty thousand more, To help save Viet nam from Viet Namese."
I jumped off the old troop ship, And sank in mud up to my hips. I cussed until the captain called me down. Never mind how hard it's raining, Think of all the ground we're gaining, Just don't take one step outside of town.
Every night the local gentry, Sneak out past the sleeping sentry. They go to join the old VC. In their nightly little dramas, They put on their black pajamas, And come lobbing mortar shells at me.
We go round in helicopters, Like a bunch of big grasshoppers, Searching for the Viet Cong in vain. They left a note that they had gone. They had to get down to Saigon, Their government positions to maintain.
Well here I sit in this rice paddy, Wondering about Big Daddy, And I know that Lyndon loves me so. Yet how sadly I remember, Way back yonder in November, When he said I'd never have to go.
Everybody and his uncle is in debt, And the bankers and the brokers are upset. Goldman Sachs's, Merrill Lynch's Saw themselves as lead-pipe cinches, Now they've landed in the biggest screw-up yet. Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns and all their kind Have turned out to be the blind leading the blind. They are clearly the nit-wittest In survival of the fittest–– Let me modestly say what I have in mind
Chorus: I am changing my name to Fannie Mae; I am changing it to AIG. On this bail-out I am betting; Just a piece of what they're getting, Would be perfectly acceptable to me. I am changing my name to Freddie Mac; I am leaving for that great receiving line. I'll be waiting when they hand out Seven hundred million grand out–– That's when I'll get mine.
Since the first amphibian crawled out of the slime, We've been struggling in an unrelenting climb. We were hardly up and walking Before money started talking And it said that failure was the only crime. If you really screwed things up, then you were through; Now––surprise!––there is a different point of view. All that crazy rooty-tootin' And that golden parachutin' Means that someone's making millions––just not you! (to chorus)
Oh the price of gold is rising out of sight And the dollar is in sorry shape tonight What the dollar used to get us Now won't buy a head of lettuce No the economic forecast isn't right But amidst the clouds I spot a shining ray
I can even glimpse a new and better way And I've demised a plan of action Worked it down to the last fraction And I'm going into action here today
CHORUS: I am changing my name to Chrysler I am going down to Washington D.C. I will tell some power broker What they did for Iacocca Will be perfectly acceptable to me I am changing my name to Chrysler I am headed for that great receiving line So when they hand a million grand out I'll be standing with my hand out Yes sire I'll get mine
When my creditors are screaming for their dough I'll be proud to tell them all where they can all go They won't have to scream and holler They'll be paid to the last dollar Where the endless streams of money seem to flow I'll be glad to tell them what they can do It's a matter of a simple form or two It's not just renumeration it's a liberal education Ain't you kind of glad that I'm in debt to you
Since the first amphibians crawled out of the slime We've been struggling in an unrelenting climb We were hardly up and walking before money started talking And it's sad that failure is an awful crime Well it's been that way for a millenium or two But now it seems that there's a different point of view If you're a corporate titanic and your failure is gigantic Down to congress there's a safety net for you